POTS! It’s such a PITA!

Just incase you are wondering what was that absurdity up there, you’ve probably not joined the chat race. And if you think we are going to discuss earthenware and Immoral Traffic [Prevention] Act here this week, I’m willing to bet my entire month’s salary that you’re seriously losing it.

For the uninitiated, that headline, especially the acronyms, holds the power to save your neck. Imagine a scenario where you’re chatting online with your buddies, bragging about your day’s exploits and/ or making plans to skip school/ college tomorrow and go watch the latest flick at Vajra Cinema. Just then the Good Lord decides to play spoilsport and in walks your dad/ mom, their eagle-eyes fixed on your computer screen and their verbal talons ready to pounce on you at the slightest provocation. You know that but your friend doesn’t, and chances are his/ her next message may get you grounded for the rest of your life. So what do you do? You simply type POTS [short for Parents Over The Shoulder, which means my parents are watching, I can’t really talk] or POS [Parents are looking Over my Shoulder] or P911 [P = Parents and 911 = Emergency; in other words, either drop the subject or watch the language].

That, my darlings, is the magic of chat lingo/ acronyms. Not only has acronyms taken over our chat rooms and applets and given the Queen’s language a run for its ‘standard’ vocabulary, it has also proved its health benefits. Besides negating the need for typing out entire words and sentences and preventing ‘chat wrist’ [if tennis players can have tennis elbow, chatters can have chat wrists too!], the ‘code words’ also keep out parents from eavesdropping, thus saving the chatters’ hide.

Gone are the days when the word ‘avatar’ was restricted to religious ideas. In today’s virtual world, an avatar or AV is a graphical representation often used in chat rooms to depict a person who’s in the room and chatting. And BIBLE? Well, it stands for Basic Information Before Leaving Earth. But hey, your parents don’t need to know that, right? And if they’re under the impression that you’ve suddenly found god and decide to hike your allowance, there’s nothing like it.

During a chat session with a sexy siren [who in all probability is a fat, hairy, married guy with a fake AV], you are forced to be AFK [Away From the Keyboard] for a while to take a leak. Upon your return, you see your brother has not only taken hold of the computer but also exchanged email IDs with that ‘girl’, you mentally - and also verbally if your brother is less muscular than you - label him a PITA [Pain In The A$$]!

And what do you say when a virtual stranger tries chatting you up? DIKU [Do I Know You?]. From its humble beginnings, the word ‘beg’ has today also taken the form of an acronym standing for a Big Evil Grin, which you flash after saying UY [Up Your you-know-where] to an irritating chatter. Wicked, huh?

If you receive an online message that reads GAL, it doesn’t mean other chatters are enquiring about your gender. They are simply offering you an unsolicited advice - Get A Life. Ouch! And if they say FU and you can’t figure this one out, you shouldn’t be online.

And when you read an entire article ODing on acronyms and chat jargons, fail to make head or tails of it and realise a little too late that you could have better utilised the time spent reading that useless article, that, my friends, is a clear indication that you should GAL.

JK [Just Kidding]!

Midweek, 11-17 October, 2006